Do It Because
A month ago I get a text message from my Branch President saying he wanted to meet with me that day. I knew what it was about already. I had previously met with him about something in particular I was working towards. My stomach immediately flipped upside down and my heart started going so fast and I became nervous. My mind stared racing of all the different possibilities and I started to reflect on everything I did to prepare.
My very first thought was “OH NO! It’s time! Right Now! Today! ” This was something I have been anticipating for a few weeks now – but I was preparing for a lesson I had to give in church, I was busy and distracted, this COULDN’T be right time, I wasn’t expecting it.
And my very next thought, “…uh-oh, did I do everything I could to prove to him I am ready and I deserve this?” Sure, I fasted and prayed and studied extra hard and prayed even more and all of that, but could I have done even more? Was I as diligent as I am capable of? I started to critique everything I did and the way I did it. The next thing I know, I was scared to see him; I was scared of his answer. I thought, how strange, someone I know so well and am very close with and all of a sudden I am afraid to see them; something I have been waiting for so long and all of a sudden I didn’t want to go. Something I wanted so badly was in the hands over someone else’s judgment, and what a terrifying thing!
I remember waiting outside of his office nervous almost to the point of tears and realizing this is exactly how I will feel when Christ returns. This will be exactly how I feel judgment day: Now? Today? Oh no! Did I do everything I could to prove to Him I am worthy and ready and deserving? That something I really want, to be exalted and live with Him forever, is in His hands, and suddenly even though I know my Savior so well and am so close with, I am afraid to see Him. Sure, I prayed and read scriptures, but I did as much as I could have? Did I do everything to my full potential?
This makes me think back to this past General Conference- the Sunday session I watched alone, having no one else in the whole church building. This wasn’t because I had nowhere to go and no one to watch it with.My branch President called me saying he set up a screen for me at our church building and I could go and grab a key to let myself in. I did my hair and my make-up and dressed up in my Sunday’s best. I stood up and I sang extra loud during the congregational hymns.
Did I do that because someone else was there who would see if I did or did not do that? No. No one would see if I wore church clothes to just sit in the Relief Society room. No one else was there to see if I stood up to sing, or even sang at all.
But I did.
and I did it for My Heavenly Father, because I knew He was watching.
I did it because I Love Him.
and because I Respect Him.
Now, I am not saying that everyone needs to watch Conference by themselves. The reason I thought of that experience because that was an eye opener to me that I needed to do that and have that time to strengthen myself spiritually and become closer to my Father and Savior. It was just something I personally needed to make my relationship stronger.
It makes me think of all the others times and opportunities, and if I was doing everything I needed to do for my salvation. It makes me think how my relationship with my Heavenly Father is the most important relationship I can ever have with anyone else. This is the relationship I need to be constantly mindful of and constantly nurturing it. That only through this relationship can all other relationships be strengthened as well.
When I kneel each night before my last prayer of the day, I think to myself, is what I did today represent how I feel about my Savior? Is anything I did today help me to become closer to my top priority of following Him.
What’s your top priority?
Are you doing what you need to better yourself and be prepared?
Comments